Job Loss, Middle Age Challenges, Midlife Crisis

My Husbands Mid Life Crisis

My husband came home and told me that he was tired of his job and gave his notice. I was shocked. So I asked him what he was planning on doing for work and he said he was talking to a guy who said he would hire him to work at a gym with him. So I asked him all the questions trying to figure out what was going on.

The next day he came home and said they told him he didn’t need to stay the two weeks so they sent him home. I couldn’t believe it. He had been working there for quite a few years. I later found out that he was banned from the place. I was shocked. And when I asked my husband what happened he said it was normal procedure for the company he worked with that once you gave notice, you wouldn’t be allowed back.

I thought he was full of BS but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. The next week he started the new job which was an hour a way and I later found out he would be making straight commission.  I was upset because he walked away from a good job that payed great money and this one would be minimum wage unless he really made a lot of sales.

Long story short he quit this new job. And of course the old job wouldn’t take him back. To this day I don’t know why.

And I was angry. I wondered how could a man who had a family to support along with a hefty mortgage act this way.

And it got worse. He couldn’t get unemployment since he quit his job.

As a loyal wife I hung in there and did my share by working my full-time job as well as managing an internet business. An he would tell me that he was looking for a job. But when I came home he would be sitting in his recliner watching tv. This went on for months.

And our savings account emptied out quickly. And I became more angry. I felt resentful because I was doing all the work while he was sitting home watching tv.

So I made an ultimatum. I told him that if we lost our home because of him quitting his job I would leave him.

And just as we were losing our home he found a job.

So being the loyal wife that I am, I hung in there.

His Midlife Crisis seemed to have ended. But unfortunately he wasn’t able to keep that job or the 3 jobs after that and I finally decided that after 24 years of marriage I had had enough. But that is another story.

The lesson I learned is that a Midlife Crisis can cause real damage to a marriage and all people who the love person who is going through the MLC. If you are going through a Midlife Crisis or love someone who is please seek counseling and get help. At least this way you know that you did all you could do.

*update*

The above article was written over a year ago yet I never posted it. But I realized that it could possibly help other women out there who are married to men who are going through a mid life crisis know that they are not alone.

Ultimately, my now ex husband, never got a job.  He actually wasn’t motivated to do much of anything. And I realized that in order to help him find his motivation, I needed to stop enabling him. So I moved out and filed for divorce.

It ended up being the best thing for both of us. He is currently living in his mother’s basement, however, when he realized that I wouldn’t be there to take care of him, he finally went out and got a job. My kids say that he seems happier than he was when we were married.

And me? I have never been happier. I feel like for the first time in my life I have my own voice. I get to be myself and no longer feel like the life is being sucked out of me.

For us, divorce was the answer. If we are completely honest I think we both know that our marriage was over years ago.

But many people are able to save their marriage and find true happiness with their spouse.

If you or your spouse is going through a midlife crisis, please don’t wait until there is no hope, like I did. Get the help you need.

I wish you all the best!

PS…If you have experience midlife crisis in your marriage, I would love it if you could share your story in the comments section below.

 

Job Loss, Middle Age Challenges

Unemployment After Fifty

With the current economy, many people are finding themselves without a job at midlife. And it isn’t easy finding a new job out there. A good job is hard to come by. And the few jobs that are out there are often given to the younger and less experienced candidates simply because they will accept less pay.

Unemployment after fifty can be shocking and life changing.

image courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/
image courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Losing a job can really turn your life upside down. Job loss can also be the cause of midlife crisis or marital problems.

After your recover from the shock of it all you need to start getting in the swing of job hunting. But job hunting isn’t the same as it was years ago when you simply looked through the morning paper and handed out your resume.

It’s not so easy now. Now everything starts with the internet. And many people in midlife still don’t even own a computer. Unfortunately now is the time to either get a computer or visit your local library and check out their library.

What are some things you can do to keep positive while you are unemployed?

  • Talk about it. Sometimes it seems easier to hold in your feelings but it is not a good thing. Holding in your feelings can affect your health. One of the best ways to deal with stress and anxiety is to talk about your feelings. And also know that it is okay to be angry.

 

  • Seek help if you are feeling depressed. Being unemployed can be devastating especially if it was unexpected. It is easy to put yourself down or even lose confidence. If you are feeling down or depressed it might be a good idea to talk to your doctor or minister  A therapist can really help you sort things out and figure out where to go from here.

 

  • Find a hobby. Now just might be the perfect time to get back into some of the things that interest you. Or try out a new hobby that you have always wanted to do, but just couldn’t find the time. Take advantage of the extra time on your hands and have some fun!

 

  • Start a business. Now might be the perfect time to start your own business. If you have always wanted to fire your boss, then why not take the time now to start a home based business. And it doesn’t need to be a large brick and mortar business. You could simply start Blogging and learn how to monetize your blog. Many people earn extra money blogging. It is a great way to express yourself as you earn a nice part time income.

I like to think of each day as a new beginning. So if you or someone you love has lost their job don’t lose hope. There are many options out there.

Have you been unemployed after fifty. If so please leave a comment below. Your insight could be helping someone else.