For many years, actually most of my life, I spent people pleasing. I wanted to be the perfect friend, wife and employee. I wanted to be liked and appreciated. I spent many years trying to make others happy. And worked really hard to live up to their expectations.
In the long run, I ended up really unhappy. It was hard work trying to make everyone’s life better. And instead of people giving back, I often found that I was taken for granted and used. Which of course ended up with resentment.
I ended up very bitter and depressed. I didn’t like where my life was or the person that I had become.
I had such anxiety all the time. I was constantly worried about what people thought about me. It took a lot of work and effort to try to be perfect all the time.
About 10 years ago I had a friend. Really, he was more of a mentor. He was a successful business owner who started out broke and is now a millionaire. He and I spoke on the phone and connected over the internet. He did a lot of training for network marketers. Long story short, he really helped save my life.
One day we were talking about my problem with trying to please everyone and my worry about what they thought of me. His response wasn’t something that I expected…
He said, “Honestly, Wendy, It really isn’t any of your business what others think of you.”
But I disagreed. Of course it is my business if their thoughts are about me. But then after a lot of back and forth it really started to sink in.
Someone else’s personal thoughts really are none of my business.
Then he said something that made me laugh, but made perfect sense. He said, “I bet they are thinking the same thing about you.”
So I decided right then and there to stop the worry and anxiety. This became my mantra. I know longer care what others think. I only focus on me and what I can do to make myself happy.
I know it sounds selfish. But remember when I said how unhappy I was trying to please everyone? Well I discovered that when I focused on what felt good to me and made me happy, I ended up making the people around me happier. And people began to treat me differently. They respected me and my time.
I became a stronger woman. I am the one in control. Today I am creating my own happiness.
So, It is none of my business what others think of me!
Today I own my life. I’m the one in control and I don’t care what others think. What about you? Have you ever had to change your way of thinking? I would love to here from you.