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What you need to know about happiness in Midlife

Posted by Wendy K on April 16, 2014 in Creating Happiness |

Listen up, because I am going to tell you a secret.

This is a secret that took me many years to get. And it took me even more years to trust it. Now I do. Now I’m living my life to the fullest.

Want to know the secret? It is pretty simple.

Happiness is a choice… Yes it is!

ID-10046795It sounds simple, yet it is so true.

The problem is we spend so much time going to work, taking care of the family and doing for others that we forget to live our life.

And as a mid-lifer I know how fast life goes by. I don’t know about you, but I want to live my life to the fullest.

Here is that I learned that helped me to find happiness.

I learned to Listen to my inner voice. Believe it or not, this is hard for many people. We have so much chatter going on inside that we cant here that little voice inside that has something to say.

So how do you hear that little voice? You do it with silence. Meditation is popular because it quiets the mind so you can hear what your soul has to say. But the word meditation tends to scare many people. So let me just say find a quiet place, your car, a warm bath, your back yard….and be silent. Just be with yourself.

After you do this a few times, you will begin to hear that little voice and you will begin to find the answers you seek.

And of course the other side of this is to stop Listening to the Chatter and noise. This was difficult for me. Because I spent most of my adult life doing for others. I spend most of my time making other people happy. I made sure my husband and children were taken care of. And somehow I lost myself.

Stop doing what others want you to do, and do what you want to do. Do what is right for you.

This step is about taking care of yourself first. Do something nice for yourself. It is okay to let others take care of themselves as well.

The most amazing word I learned with this step was “no”. It was a freeing word for me. I love my family. But as a woman of 50 with grown adults as children, I realized I was hindering their happiness by not letting them find themselves.

It isn’t my job to create happiness for others. I can only create my own happiness.

Learn to love yourself. Know that you are unique and beautiful. You are a blessing. Love yourself and you will find happiness.

A few years ago, it was suggested that I look in the mirror at myself every day. And look deeply into my own eyes. I started doing this and then I say to myself. “I love you”.

At first it was hard. I cried. I realized that I didn’t love myself first. But I can do it now. It took time to realize that I really deserve happiness. I realize that I am me and I am the perfect me. I am not perfect but I am unique and I am me.

We I came from the other side I came by myself. And when I go back to the other side I will be by myself. I can’t take my parents, kids or lover with me. It will be about me. And that is why I think it is so important to listen to my soul.

I have learned that in finding myself, but listening to my voice I am truly happy. And although at first my family thought I was being selfish.  They quickly saw how happy I was and enjoyed being around me more. I am much lighter and care free. I like being selfish. Because really my life is about me. I’d rather be selfish than self-less.

I am a happy woman, who is living each day to the fullest. I am creating my own life and living it the way I want. Today I am blessed.

Are you selfish? Or Self-less?

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