Midlife Divorce

Name Change After Divorce

Name Change After Divorce

Going through a divorce is difficult and it can be even more difficult doing it during midlife. Not only is it a sad and stressful time, but it is a lot of work. And there are many changes that need to be made and things to consider.

One major decision I had to consider while ending my 24 year marriage was the name change after divorce.

There are many different opinions on the idea of taking back your maiden name after divorce. It is a personal decision. For me, I decided I wanted to take my name back.

I did it for a few reasons.

The first and most important reason is that it gave me the feeling of being in change and in control of my life. For 24 years I feel like I sort of lost my self as I played the role of “the good wife” and mother. This was something that I needed to do for me.

This is my way of putting myself first for the first time in many years. His last name was his, not mine. And since I’m the one who is requested the divorce I felt it only right to go back to my maiden name.

His new wife (should he ever remarry) should be the one to use his name.

I had a few people remind me that my kids would have a different last name than me. But although I know it will be a bit weird for them, I feel they will be able to deal with it as they are all adults.

My girls will eventually marry and may decide to use their husbands name. And I have discussed it with them. They understand and support me.

Fortunately I was living in Maryland when I filed for divorce. Maryland makes it real easy to take your name back. It is actually a part of the paperwork. Simply check off that you want your name back.

The hard work which is a pain is when you need to change your social security number back and your drivers licence back. But I’m willing to do the work.

This week I just got the final divorce papers letting me know that my name has official changed back to the original name on my birth certificate.

I feel so excited and free. I almost feel like a new person.

Everyone is different when it comes to how they feel about a name chance after divorce. I think it is up to the individual to decide what works best for them.

Middle Age Challenges, Midlife Crisis, Midlife Divorce

Midlife Crisis – Clearing out the BS!

Having a Midlife Crisis isn’t always a bad thing. Okay I know it may seem like it when you are dealing with someone who is going through a midlife crisis or you are going through one yourself.

Clearing out the BSOn the one hand, people make what may seem like crazy decisions. They quit a job, start a new business or file for divorce. Which turns their life upside down and make the people around them crazy.

But what if you look at it differently. I had someone comment on an article that I wrote and he said for him, his midlife crisis was about “clearing out the BS”. This really hit home for me.

I mean after 24 years of marriage I suddenly decided that I was unhappy in my marriage and decided to end it. But even though it seemed sudden, if I’m totally honest I realize I have been unhappy for years.

It’s just that in midlife I am realizing that I am a person of value and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life unhappy. Good for me! It’s about time I put myself first.

So in conclusion I think that sometimes a midlife crisis can be a good thing. It really helps you to take action and make some needed changes in your life.

Just don’t let the crisis take you over and you make decisions you may regret later. Take some time to really decide what you want in life.

You deserve to be happy. What will make you happy?